Notes on Creativity, and Pushing through the Noise

Sitting here on a rainy Los Angeles morning thinking about how this month will mark 8 years in this city, and 11 years living in different states. When I look at my career, i certainly have had my spouts with lack of motivation or uncertainty about where I am headed. I’ve always found a way to push through and more importantly, stay in love with a craft that i’ve been working at for almost half my life at this point.

I’m going to share some notes on photography and what it’s done for me - but if you have any creative pursuit that you love I do think most if not all of this is applicable to any creative pursuit.

There’s a certain sadness that initially comes with turning a passion into a career - realizing that it’s not as unstructured anymore, and that you are starting to rely on it for income just makes you look at it differently. I remember when I got my first clothing brand retainer back in 2016, and I thought I was on top of the world. If I can remember right it was around $2,000 a month and I felt invincible. I could pay my rent, go on roadtrips, buy burritos from my local truck in Southeast Portland - life was simple and the creativity felt relatively easy to access.

Fast forward to 2021 - still in the thick of the pandemic and I remember feeling burnt out - trying to get by during a time when there were much more important things at play in our world (much like today). I think these moments are when you really find out how much you love something versus what it can do for you. I’ve always found a sense of calm and respite from taking photos - especially of landscape. Something unlocks inside me and I feel like a part of my brain has been scratched - almost like a hard workout, but different nonetheless. I took a ton of roadtrips during this few year stretch, and I really got me through some tough times mentally.

La Push Washington, 2021

Photography initially was a creative escape for me - and I have to constantly remind myself that it’s still very much that today almost 14 years since picking up a camera. I’ve gotten really good at separating the love from the career and it’s helped me continue to push, find new subject matters and do it simply for the love of it - not for the fancy day rates, fun new clients and potential “life changing” shoots. Those i’ve found to be hit or miss, so finding consistency within my creative habits has allowed me to find true peace with my craft.

What’s helped me the most is mastering the 1-2 day roadtrip - getting out of my current headspace and driving somewhere new. Often for me this means camping, hiking and immersing myself in nature somehow. It’s the best creative reset i’ve found and i’ve gotten really good at this over the years of living in such a large city such as Los Angeles.

What happens when I drive up the coast to Big Sur, or into the Sierra Nevada is I find myself noticing more. The lines, the textures, the color of the ocean. All things that help me become a better photographer, and more importantly set the tone for how i’ll make images as my life progresses. Photography really is just that - noticing what’s in front of you, and it’s something I plan on continuing for the rest of my life.